june 21, 2001 - october 20, 2008

| pictures of stella | the day stella died | about stella |

oct. 21, 2008

my beautiful cat stella was hit and killed by a car yesterday. i've been crying a lot and can't function very well. my cats are my family and best friends, so it is like having a close relative suddenly killed.

someone hit her and someone put her up on the grass near the curb and telephone pole next to our driveway(but she had her collar on with our address and phone and we were at home, in the house but nobody contacted us).

nate and sam had just come over and liz came back from walking her dog and they all found stella lying there on the grass, about the same time. a few minutes later, juan and carl and sean came back from playing basketball.

stella's head was bashed in on one side so she must have died instantly so at least she didn't suffer. she still was so beautiful, her calico brown and white and black fur, lying there on the grass with yellow and brown autumn leaves scattered on her.

i felt i had to bury her right away and rushed and got a shovel out of the garage and wanted to dig a hole by the hollyhocks, near where pepper is buried, in the back of the house in my mint garden. nate dug most of the hole for me. i got a beautiful white and purple flowered brocade scarf and wrapped stella in it. she was already stiff and was lying with her legs straight out, how she would sleep in the sun on the stairs in winter. blood was still oozing out of the huge hole in her head and her good eye was sticking out. there was blood on her legs, too, maybe it dripped down or maybe her legs were hurt, too. i kept petting her soft fur, on her still slightly warm little body.

i took her into the house to try to show jayne and buddy she was dead. i couldn't find jayne so just buddy sniffed the body. ida and violet were still outside. in retrospect i should have tied to get them all in the sniff the body and know stella was dead. but i was in automatic grief/hysteria mode. now they don't know, they just see me crying and come up and nuzzle me and they know something is wrong, but not what.

juan ran into the house and got sage and tobacco and a candle for her funeral, and we held hands and juan said some words, spiritual comforting things and they all om'd, i was crying and couldn't. then i said goodbye and covered her with dirt and nate finished shoveling dirt over her and juan threw in tobacco and waved burning sage over the little grave.

stella was a cheerful sunny cat, playful and mischievous. i miss her so much already, even though i still have my other 3 cats, my family/friends jayne and ida and violet, and juan's sister's cat buddy here too.

juan is very sad too since he loves stella too. we've been hugging a lot and i keep crying. last night i had a half asleep half awake vision of stella coming running up to me, like a little ghost or spirit, and i was so glad to see her but so sad she's dead. juan said today we should do memorial art about stella, so i am making this web page to start.


about stella

i've been thinking about stella...
her funny face and cute little legs
and how she'd bat the metal yardstick to make a bonging sound
and how she'd walk along the living room curtain rod and one time jumped down right on my head and stunned me,
and how she'd get the closet and the attic doors open-- they were warped and didn't latch, just stuck shut, and she'd just work at it for hours, scratching and pulling with her paw under the door, going "brrooop brrroop", this high purry determined sound, until she got them open,
and how she'd jump onto the bed at night and do her backwards forwards purr, like breathing in and out and i'd pet her sleepily, and she'd sleep by my leg,
and how when i petted her on the head she'd have her eyes partly shut and mouth partly open and i could see her sharp little teeth and she'd make an arrr arrr kind of purr,
and how she'd make the highest most pitiful little mew when she wanted to go outside,
and how ever since she was a tiny kitten, she'd come up to me and say "mouw" in a declarative, greeting way,
and the day she was born, i picked her up and she meowed so very loudly, for a kitten,
and how her patch of white fur on her back showed up in the dark when i couldn't see the rest of her,
and how she'd jump up onto the top of the back door when it was open and climb into the space by the top of the cupboards and then over to the cold air return and then down onto the stove,
and how she went up into the attic and i heard her meowing and meowing and tried to find her and i thought she was caught inside the space between the roof and the attic and zoe came over to help try to get her out, and i called animal control and they said they can't even stand on a ladder to get an animal, and we couldn't figure out what to do, and went downstairs, and there came stella strolling through the dining room,
and how she'd get into the dining room ceiling and look out through a hole near the light fixtures, observing us,
and how she got "lost" again under the upstairs hallway floor and she'd peer out from under the space by the chimney and i thought i'd have to pry up the floor boards and then she nonchalantly came walking out of the bathroom,
and how one day i came home and i was horrified to find her sitting on the bed with blood all over her face and her eye scratched, by one of the other kitties, accidentally, and the insides of her eye were coming out and i had to take her to the vet and she had to have surgery and lost her eye, and i cried about that,
and how she'd be on top of the bedspread and play with my feet under the covers and jump straight up like she was on springs,
and how i'd have to tie our indoor clothesline, which runs from the living room curtain rod to the stairs, a special way because otherwise stella would play with the knot and untie it,
and how one time she went outside didn't come back for two nights and then showed up in the yard in the afternoon meowing all upset, i think she got caught in a garage and was so glad to see her,
and how usually when i called her to come in, she'd come walking along the neighbor's fence, meowing, like, "i'm coming...",
and her kitty joke of coming right up to the back door and sticking her head in and then leaping up and turning in midair and running across to the back of the yard (and then she'd come in a bit later),
and how she would burrow under the covers on the bed when it was made and i'd see this little lump in the middle of the bed,
and how she would walk back and forth across the desk, picking her way past the key board, and then sit on the monitor when i was at the computer, and she'd have one paw hanging down and i'd put out my finger and she'd catch a hold of my finger with her claws and pull it up to her mouth and touch it to her teeth, a little love bite,
and how she followed me around ever since she was a kitten and became one of my best friends in the world,
and how i love stella and miss her so much.

click pictures for larger images:

stella and violet, about 2 weeks old, july 4, 2001
stella and violet
sisters violet and stella and their mother ida sleeping
violet, stella and fish pillows
stella and violet on the windowsill
stella learned to hunt and caught and ate a chipmunk
stella and violet learned to climb trees
stella, march 2002
2002-03stella-702 2004-02stella-cone
stella got scratched in the eye and it was so bad her eye had to be removed. here she is home from the hospital.
summer 2004
stella liked to sit on the computer monitor
2005-01stella-feb05 2006-01stellasleeping
stella sleeping on a hot day
stella was intrigued by the moving images on the laptop, 2006
2006-03stella1 2006-04stellaonshelf
stella, halloween 2006
stella in the living room, 2007
2007-03stellabw 2007-04stellaonbed 2007-05stellagarden
stella in the garden
stella by the hollyhocks.
she is buried under the hollyhocks now.
2007-06stellaroll 2007-07stellarollingoncouch
2008-01stellacloseup 2008-02stellaonmykneeflash
stella sat on my knees a lot
me and my little beloved
2008-05stellabedsmudge 2008-06stellafootbed

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